12 Days Of Christmas
by LosTruth
Summary: After 7 long years Morita Shinobu is forced to come back to Japan by his brother. He meets Hanamoto Hagumi once again but finds her completely different. It's twelve days before Christmas... can Morita find Hagu - the real Hagu once again? - Hagu x Morita
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note**: I wrote this story over Christmas break when I had nothing to do and I thought of the whole plot line while I was curled up in ball ranting about how cold it was – it just came out like this so I hope you like it.

**TITLE**: The 12 Days Before Christmas

**DISCLAIMER**: I don't own Honey and Clover, and I'd be so lucky if I did though. I don't benefit from Honey and Clover in any way since personal satisfaction isn't included in that category.

* * *

{DAY 0}

The Narita airport was as busy as usual. You could hear children's laughter and adult chatter echoing throughout the building. Numerous people individuals were sitting idly either waiting for their plane to leave or waiting for someone to take them home. Among those seated waiting to be taken home was a dark-haired man who looked in his thirties. His unruly hair reached until the very lowest part of his nape. His face was drained and weary as he stared out the huge glass windows that covered one side of the building. The snow was falling lightly outside on the runway. The dark-haired man unconsciously fiddled with the zipper of his jacket.

"Shinobu." a familiar voice said clearly shaking him from his stupor. The dark-haired man looked up to the sound of his name. He regarded the tall man resembling him who had graying black hair similar to his own. He was poised and perfectly comfortable in the crisp black suit he wore.

Morita slowly stood up and slung his backpack over his shoulder. He smiled at his older brother.

"Kao-ru!" he shouted as he lunged at him, teary-eyed. Kaoru held him back by placing his hand over his younger brother's face.

"Good to see you too, Shinobu." He said as he pulled out his phone and dialed a number. Morita stood up straight and just gazed back at the falling snow, his brow creased.

"Yes. I have him. What should I do with him now?" Kaoru said into his phone. He watched Morita in the corner of his eye and saw his dazed expression from a moment ago. He listened to the reply on the phone.

"Got it" he answered then sighed as he snapped it shut. He pulled Morita's collar and said "Let's go" then he towed him towards the car. He shoved him into the front seat and got behind the wheel.

Kaoru started the engine, removed the brakes and began driving back to Tokyo. Morita's face was solemn as he stared out the windshield.

"Why?" he said audibly, his gaze still fixated on the snow filled scenery they passed.

"Hmm?"

Morita tore his gaze from the window as the snow stopped falling. "Why did you order me to come back to Japan?" he asked, his eyes looking at Kaoru directly.

"It's Christmas. Your work is to have a vacation. You haven't been back here in almost seven years. You're 35 years old now Shinobu and you don't even have a wife." Kaoru said bluntly. Morita cracked a smile. The image of a stunning blonde-haired girl glimmered in his mind for a second.

"Neither do you, Kaoru." Morita pointed out. He leaned forward and placed one side of his cheek on his hand so as to leave him half- facing Kaoru. "So tell me, what's the _real_ reason you wanted me to come back here?" he asked, his scruffy long black hair covering one side of his face.

Kaoru sighed. "I should have known you'd see through it." Kaoru glanced at his brother. He paused, contemplating which information to reveal first. "It's not me who demanded you to come back. It was your _friend_." He said with emphasis on the last word. Morita leaned back into his seat; his stare was directly ahead now.

"Takemoto Yuuta." He finished easily. Morita's face was unchanged.

"Why?" he repeated in the same tone as before.

"He said someone needed you desperately. A girl – her name was Hanamoto Hagumi and if I remember correctly isn't she the very same girl who rejected you back then?" Kaoru said deliberately. Morita remained passive and said nothing in reply but Kaoru had seen something change in his eyes. he chuckled silently.

"So what did Takemoto-kun say she needed me for?" Morita asked trying to get back on topic. Kaoru's tone changed almost immediately.

"It probably has something to do with the fact that her Uncle died last month." He said in a grave voice. He looked at his younger brother and saw apprehension diffuse on his face.

"You mean Hanamoto Shuuhei?" Morita asked in a quiet voice.

"Yes. That's the name Takemoto-kun mentioned before." Morita remained silent in the few minutes that passed.

The two of them were nearing Tokyo now given how fast Kaoru usually drove. The car slowed to a stop as they were about to pass the checkpoint. Morita deliberately shook his head.

"Takemoto, you idiot." He said almost inaudibly.

"I beg your pardon?" Kaoru asked, not catching his words.

Morita unlocked the car door in got out in one swift movement. Just before he swung the door shut he told Kaoru; "I said I'll call you later." Then he dashed away at full speed leaving Kaoru cursing under his breath inside the car.

An attractive blonde haired young girl was kneeling amidst piles of unused art materials. Her face was vacant as she stared at the blank canvass in front of her. Her lilac colored eyes were unfocused and an unused paintbrush lay carelessly in her hands.

There was a sharp rap on the door behind her but she didn't seem to notice. A stocky ash haired man entered the room with a cup of tea in hand.

"Hagu-chan, I brought you tea." He announced as he knelt beside her and set the tea somewhere in her reach. She didn't turn to acknowledge him. She remained immobile, like a doll - just as pretty but just as lifeless.

The ash haired man stood up slowly and looked at her, sorrow evident in his eyes. "If you ever get hungry, don't hesitate to ask me okay?"

She remained silent- as was her usual response. He exited the room and headed towards the kitchen.

When he entered the kitchen he found his cell phone ringing on top of the counter. He flipped it open and flashing on the screen was a name he knew well – Morita Kaoru.

He pressed the answer button and heard his familiar voice through the phone.

"Takemoto-kun?"

"Yes?"

"Is my idiotic brother by any chance there with you?" Takemoto felt his heart falter in his chest.

"Morita-san? He's back?" Takemoto could hear the shock in his voice.

"Why so surprised? Weren't you the one who pleaded me to bring him back?" Kaoru asked pointedly like he did once before. Kaoru's words back then resonated in Takemoto's head. _Do you want him to come back? Or do you not want him to?_ And just like before he somehow felt torn.

"Yes…" He knew Kaoru could hear the whole sentence he left unsaid. "So he's seriously back in Japan?" Takemoto asked despite his thoughts.

"Tokyo to be exact." He corrected. Takemoto's eyes widened a fraction.

"Since when?" He reflexively glanced back at Hagu's room.

"Well, I just hauled him from the airport about an hour ago but he ran away when we were about to arrive at Tokyo." His voice sounded annoyed. "I assume he's somewhere in Tokyo, he's probably prowling around. I was thinking he might've gone to meet with you," he paused "-but seeing as how you weren't even aware he was in Tokyo I guess I was wrong." He added as an afterthought.

"I'm actually at Hanamoto's house now. Maybe he's gone to the old apartment but it's already -" he began to say but Kaoru's voice interrupted him.

"I've got another call waiting. I'll email you when I get in contact with him. Thanks anyway Takemoto-kun." Before Takemoto could reply Kaoru hung up. Takemoto flipped his phone shut and glanced at the door that lay ajar across the hall.

It was Hagu's artroom. The artroom she and Hanamoto-sensei had put up together when he bought the house with her. It was her refuge, her paradise. And when Hanamoto-sensei passed away… it was probably the only place where she wouldn't crumble away into nothing - the only place that still held meaning for her.

He glimpsed a part of her back from afar. She hadn't moved a centimeter, he thought sadly. She's still stuck in that place far off from where her body was. That place he could never reach no matter how hard he tried, he thought cynically.

Involuntarily, he flipped his phone open and suddenly found himself dialing a number.

For a minute he could only hear ringing then the phone clicked and a nostalgic deep voice answered.

"Hello?"

"Mayama-san?"

"Ah, Takemoto-kun. It's been a while since you last called. What's wrong?" Mayama asked concernedly.

"Morita's older brother just called a while ago." Mayama took a deep breath.

"And-?" Takemoto could hear the concealed anxiety in his voice.

"He said that Morita-san is back in Japan. Tokyo to be exact." He added, recalling how Kaoru-san had corrected him.

"You sound nervous." Mayama commented. "Takemoto, you were the one who pleaded with Kaoru-san to bring him back." He continued.

"I know but –" he broke off, trying to figure how to phrase what he felt. The words he couldn't say aloud to Kaoru suddenly flooded out of his mouth. "I was desperate Mayama-san. I couldn't reach her no matter what I tried. The only thing left was Morita-san. I was nervous as it is but now that he really is back in Tokyo I feel even more apprehensive. I'm frightened of what he might do to her. He could save her…or he could break her completely, it's one or the other." Takemoto's voice was full of tension. He had been holding back everything these past few weeks. He'd been so stressed out that Takemoto found himself taking everything out on Mayama.

Mayama was mute as he listened to Takemoto. Once he was done he spoke gently.

"Your doubts are rational but we'll just have to wait and see Takemoto. I know it's hard for you to admit this but Morita – is the only one who's able to mess with Hagu-chan's heart even back then. They haven't seen each other in seven years, who knows what he might be able to do now? Also Takemoto, Morita would never purposely hurt anybody unless there was a good reason for it. He's always been like that, doing things for that no one could ever understand but understanding everybody else better than themselves." Mayama's voice was barely a whisper but Takemoto had heard each word.

Takemoto knew what Mayama was saying was true but it didn't lessen the unease he felt. He replied in the two simple words that seemed to hold too much meaning even for him. "I know."

He heard Mayama sigh over the line. "Listen. Yamada and I decided we'd visit Hanamoto-sensei tomorrow afternoon at 3. Since it's the first time in seven years that we're all back in Tokyo we should go together. The old gang - me, you, Yamada, Hagu… and Morita." His voice trailed off as he was no doubt reminiscing of the days back in college.

"I'll ask Hagu-chan if she wants to come." Takemoto reassured him with a small smile.

"Okay. Anyway, I need to go now Takemoto. Rika-san needs my help with business as usual."

"Okay." Just as Takemoto was about to hang up Mayama's voice came from the phone.

"Takemoto…"

"Yeah?" Takemoto asked curiously.

"Hang in there. Hagu will get better someday soon and she'll need you more than ever." He said encouragingly. "Later then." He bid goodbye then he hung up. Takemoto snapped his phone shut then pocketed it.

He was left with a heavy feeling in his chest. Somehow the weight threatened to break him as he leaned against the counter. He stared out the window and watched as the snow continued to fall lightly – almost as if it wanted to erase everything…even his misery.

When he had first heard about Hanamoto-sensei's death, he rushed back to Tokyo immediately. He had been pretty bad when he had last visited him in the hospital but he never expected him to just go like that. And when he had seen how messed up Hagu-chan had become, his heart ached – even now, whenever he looked at her but never really found her.

Over the years he had realized that his feelings for her hadn't diminished in the least. It was still as strong as before and despite the fact that he had tried to hide it, Mayama had seen right through him as always. He had dropped everything and just rushed to her side.

Out of the blue an image from long ago sparked alive in his head. It was Hagu and Morita walking side by side – away from him.

He gritted his teeth and pulled on his coat as he left the house in a hurry- into the clear white snow so contrasting to how messed up his emotions were at the moment.

Morita stood facing the location of their old apartment building that he had lived in for so long. He gazed at the rubble of the demolished building. There was nothing left except the sign that read FOR SALE in large bold letters. Nothing. There was nothing left here but wreckage and ice cold air.

Images from the past flooded Morita's mind. Images of the warm apartment they had all shared before. The countless parties and hangovers, the food, the laughter…it was all so vivid in his mind that it was as if it only happened yesterday. Morita smiled to himself and tightened his blue scarf around his neck, the cold biting into him.

He was about to take his leave when a voice suddenly cried out.

"Wait!" Morita paused in mid-step and turned to look at the stranger. He was bent down trying to catch his breath and Morita could see the puffs of smoke whenever he exhaled.

The bent man stood up still huffing. The snow in his ash colored hair turned it almost white and when their eyes met Morita faintly recognized him. He scrutinized him more closely then he saw it. It was the older version of the boy he once messed with so long ago.

He grinned broadly and charged at him.

"Ta-ke-mo-to!" Morita shouted as he wrestled him to the cold pavement. He was executing 'the Choker' on him when Takemoto spoke again.

"M-Mori…ta-san… I…cant…breathe!" he managed to say and Morita let him go, still laughing.

Takemoto gaped at Morita as he stood up. It seemed like nothing had changed much about him in seven years. He just looked older. He had longer hair which he didn't bother to fix or cut. Other than that it was still the same Morita-san. If he was still the same then maybe… maybe he really could save Hagu, Takemoto thought wistfully.

"What's up?" Morita asked, seeing Takemoto gawk at him. Color rushed into Takemoto's cheeks.

"It's nothing." He replied as he stood up from the cold hard cement. "Anyway, Morita-san. Can you come with me? I need you to see someone." Takemoto said bluntly, avoiding Morita's eyes.

"I can't." Takemoto raised his head at the tone of his voice. He found Morita looking directly at him. "I can't." he repeated in the same resolute tone. Morita turned to leave and Takemoto didn't bother to stop him, he knew he couldn't even if he tried. Instead he said, "Morita-san! Tomorrow all of us are going to visit Hanamoto-sensei. You should come if you can – and Morita-san?" he called out.

Morita glanced back, his expression unreadable. "Welcome back!" he finished then he scampered away, not bothering to wait for a reply.

Morita was left gazing at Takemoto's receding form. He turned on his heel and began walking, not really knowing where he wanted to go.

Within an hour Morita found himself in his and Kaoru's 'secret base'. He was covered in snow and freezing like hell. He looked around the apartment and was surprised to find his backpack on the desk with a note labeled with his name.

He picked up the piece of paper and unfolded it. A water droplet fell from his hair onto the paper making a big blotch. He pushed back his hair with his clammy hand and proceeded to read those simple words in his brother's neat handwriting.

_If you need anything, just call._

Morita smiled to himself and refolded the piece of paper. He set it back on the table and began to undress himself. He stepped into the bathroom and turned the knob for hot water. The warm water slapped back some life into him and got his blood circulating in his semi-numb body.

His brother's words in the car repeated in his head. It blocked out the sound of the falling water.

_Her uncle just died…_

The image of a smiling Hanamoto-sensei flitted in his head followed by the memory of being slugged by him so long ago. He seemed so strong back then…so how could he have died so easily? Morita clenched his fist and turned off the water. He wrapped a towel around and stepped out to dry himself.

He put on a clean shirt and warm pants. He exited the bathroom and brought out a bed onto the floor with a pillow and a blanket. He propped himself onto the bed and lied still.

A memory began replaying in his mind. It was of the time he had slept here in certain blond girl's arms. He still remembered how fragile she felt wrapped in his arms, her silky and fragrant hair surrounding him, the warmth she emitted and the sound of her breathing that lulled him to sleep.

Morita hastily got up and took his backpack back to the mattress. He knelt at the edge of the bed as he pulled a zipper on his bag. Dozens of letters fell onto the mattress; all of them open except for one. All of them were labeled with the same clumsy scrawl. All were from the same person, all from Tokyo, all – from Hanamoto Hagumi.

Morita picked up the latest and the only letter that was left unopened. He tore it open carefully and her scent – pure and strong wafted out form the envelope it was sealed in. He inhaled it for a moment then he began to read her words who's every stroke of every letter was engraved into his brain since long ago.

_I have bad news. It's about Shuu-chan. He got hospitalized and the doctors say his condition could possibly get worse. I've finished rehabilitation a long time ago but I'm still as scared as ever whenever I go to the hospital. I'm scared – but Shuu-chan laughs it off and says its old age. Takemoto-kun comes to visit with me everyday even though he's so busy. Mayama-san came back when he first heard about Shuu-chan's hospitalization and he scolded him for being careless with his health. Sadly though, he had to go back soon after but he promised he's come back when he could. Ayu-chan frequently comes to visit with Nomiya-san. The baby is coming along nicely; Nomiya-san says the baby is due this December. I can't wait! By the way, where are you now? I hear you've been doing some amazing things lately; just wait for me, I'll do my best to catch up to you and maybe someday soon we'll be able to show each other our works again. I know you're working hard and I wish you the best of luck. I'll send you a letter when Shuu-chan gets better. Until the next time we meet…stay safe._

_Hagu_

Morita could picture her writing the letter but he knew the image was always wrong. It was always the young Hagu writing, not the 29 year old she currently was. He hadn't seen her in so long and he felt an ache in his chest.

He realized the sudden yearning that was building up in his chest. There was a desire to see her, to touch her, to smell her, to…kiss her? He immediately stood up, banged his head against the hard concrete wall and screamed.

After a few moments he sighed and pulled away from the wall touching the reddening part of his forehead which made contact with the wall. He glimpsed the letter in his hand and all the letters he had accumulated in the past five years. All of them which – he had had left unreplied.

He sighed again. She had continued to send him letters even though he never replied to any of them. He had stopped giving a reply five years ago. And yet even though he left them unanswered… he still kept them – every single one of them.

In the letter he currently held, she'd written, _I'll send you a letter when Shuu-chan gets better._ It's been two months since he received this letter; there was no follow-up letter… Hanamoto-sensei didn't get better.

He lied down on the letters strewn across the bed. He placed his arm over his face and his other hand crumpled the letter.

* * *

Endnote: and that is the first chapter! Please review! I just couldn't help myself when I watched honey and clover all over from the start so I hope you enjoyed it! Hagu and Morita all the way!


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note:**Thank you so much for reading the first chapter! Here's the second chapter, just for you! :D

**Disclaimer:**I solemnly swear that I am up to no good – whoops, wrong line. What I'm supposed to say is I don't own Honey and Clover. I don't own anything as amazing as this. Also, I don't get any profit whatsoever from writing this except personal satisfaction for myself.

* * *

{Day 1}

Four people stood in front of a grave filled with fresh flowers. Among those people there was only one in dress as white as the lilies on the grave and it was a breathtakingly beautiful lady with empty lilac eyes and long blonde hair.

The other three were solemn in prayer. When Takemoto had finished he glanced at Hagu who looked as hollow as before. It was frustrating; frustrating because even if he reached out, he couldn't touch her. She wasn't even really there, she was somewhere far away. Somewhere he could never reach.

Suddenly somebody gave his shoulder a gentle squeeze. He turned and saw Mayama looking at him with a reassuring smile. He smiled back weakly. Takemoto glanced at Yamada; she was gently rubbing her enlarged abdomen with the most loving expression. The golden ring on her right hand contrasted with her fair skin and Yamada had never looked more beautiful than the day she and Nomiya had gotten married. Takemoto was happy for them but Mayama was the happiest. Nomiya had even asked him to become the godfather of their first child despite the fact that they still argued a lot.

Mayama was still with Rika-san. The two were together but Mayama didn't want to marry her. He wanted Rika-san to keep her ties to her ex-husband and Rika-san had respected his wishes. Rika-san had learned to love Mayama in the years that passed after we graduated. They were always together now and they were practically inseparable.

Then there was Hagu-chan. Takemoto was by her side but she felt light years away on some distant planet. Ever since Hanamoto sensei's death her eyes lost any light they ever possessed. She would look but she never really _saw_ anymore.

Her dress fluttered as a cold gust of wind passed by.

"The cold isn't doing any good for us. We should head back; shall we meet back at Hagu-chan's house?" Mayama addressed Takemoto instead of Hagu. Takemoto looked at Hagu for a response. As usual she remained silent. There was a question in Mayama's eyes as their gazes met. _Morita?_ That one name was evident in his eyes. Takemoto slowly shook his head and Mayama sighed.

"Okay. We'll follow after you." Takemoto replied despite their mental conversation. He had gotten used to doing it when Hagu was around. Mayama nodded and approached Yamada. He placed his hand on her shoulder and supported her as he brought her to his car. He opened the door for her and waited for her to get settled before getting into the driver's seat. Takemoto watched the two of them drive off. It was only him and Hagu left then.

He held out his hand in front of her. "Hagu-chan. Let's go. I'll take you home." Hagu wordlessly took his hand and the two of them walked back to Takemoto's car.

They got in and Hagu slowly slipped off the scarf around her neck her neck. They were a few meters away when Hagu suddenly started and began looking around frantically. Takemoto hit the brakes as fast as he could and the car skidded to a screeching halt.

"What's wrong?" concern plain in his voice.

"My bracelet… is gone." Hagu said in a hushed voice. "The bracelet Shuu-chan gave me is gone!" she said aloud with anguish. Takemoto was about to calm her and say that he would look for it with her when all of a sudden she jumped out of the car and rushed back in the direction of Hanamoto-sensei's grave.

"Hagu-chan!" Takemoto shouted a little too late.

Hagu ran as fast as she could – the thought of looking for her bracelet the only thing on her mind. The cold didn't bother her and her legs continued to move forward recklessly. When she was only a few meters away from Shuu-chan's grave she spotted someone she recognized almost immediately. Her breath caught as she scrutinized him more clearly.

She knew that physique as well as the back of her hand. The arch of his back, his broad shoulders, the shape of his neck, and his hair as dark as midnight – she had dreamed about him one too many times.

She found him kneeling in front of Shuu-chan's grave. His strangely long dark hair was tied back and she could plainly see his face. She could see the glistening tears that streamed down his pallid skin. She couldn't see his eyes though since he was looking down at the ground. She took a step forward reflexively.

"How could you leave her like that? I left her in your hands because I knew you'd take care of her! So what…" he bit his lip before continuing. "What are you doing leaving her alone like this?" outrage was distinct in his voice. "She may be an adult now but she always needed you by her side. You gave your life to her. You love her right? So go back to her this instant!" he demanded helplessly.

Before she knew it, she was only a few steps away from him when a sudden gust of wind made her clothes flap noisily. Morita looked up abruptly, stark astonishment in his face.

Their eyes met and Hagu could see so many mixed emotions in his obsidian orbs. Unconsciously, she knelt beside him and wiped his tears with the back of her hand. She let her hand linger on his face for a few moments and Morita set his hand over hers, their gazes still locked.

Then as if suddenly realizing what he was doing, Morita let go of her hand and turned away from her to finish his last respects in silence. Once he was done he stood up and offered his hand to Hagu. She hesitated for a moment before she took it. She glimpsed something silver sparkling in Morita's other hand. Morita saw her staring at it and he smiled.

"This is yours." He stated like a fact. When he had helped Hagu upright, he opened the palm of her hand and placed the silver bracelet deftly in it then enclosed her fingers around it.

Without warning, his countenance changed. He grinned broadly and began to pinch Hagu's cheeks painfully. "You've grown! I guess I'll have to call you Nezumi II now!" he said cheerfully then he laughed candidly. His laughter died when he saw Hagu's vacant face. He let go of her cheeks and sighed before saying, "Long time no see."

The cold breeze ruffled their hair and Morita looked puzzled as he observed her. Hagu saw an idea flash in his eyes before he began uncoiling the blue scarf he had around his neck. He walked closer to Hagu and when he was standing right in front of her, he carefully wrapped it around her.

"What-?" she began to ask but Morita cut her off. "It's December and you run around in a dress without a jacket or a scarf," He paused as he lightly tugged it tighter "You aren't super mouse you know." He added teasingly.

When he was almost done he stared down at her with unreadable eyes. "Where are you? I can't see you at all, mouse." and though it was a strangely obvious question, Hagu found she was unable to answer. Morita's eyes burned with the question and Hagu found herself looking away from his gaze.

Without warning Morita leaned in and kissed her forehead gently. Hagu was too surprised to react; her body had gone stiff suddenly. He leaned in closer to her ear and whispered something to her in his deep and soft voice. In a moment he stood up straight and walked pass her. Hagu turned only to see him walking away quietly. She let out a breath she didn't realize she was holding.

The words he whispered echoed in her mind;

_You promised you would watch me… always – but where have you been looking all this while?_

She was left gazing at his back, walking further and further away from her. There was one emotion she realized she had in her chest since she saw him – it was fear. Fear of what? That was the question that kept replaying in her mind.

Takemoto arrived at the grave heaving puffs of white smoke. He was astonished to find two people instead of one standing by Hanamoto-sensei's grave. Hagu's back was facing him but he could clearly see the face of the new visitor.

Takemoto felt his muscles tense when Morita had inclined himself towards her. He continued to watch, wanting to break them apart but unable to move an inch. His breath caught when Morita's face had touched Hagu's, he couldn't see what he was doing but he had a pretty good idea what it was. He leaned towards her ear and he saw his lips shape words he couldn't understand.

He flinched when he saw Morita's eyes flicker in his direction. Their eyes met and Takemoto registered the surprise in his eyes. His expression was inscrutable as usual. He closed his eyes, heaved a breath of white smoke. He straightened himself and walked away from her without a word or a look.

Their gazes were locked as he was walking towards him and away from Hagu. His face was unfathomable as he passed by Takemoto. He only said one word loud enough for him to hear.

"Go."

Takemoto fought to urge to chase after him and pull him back. Instead he gritted his teeth and looked straight ahead at Hagu. It was then that he could sense that Hagu was completely oblivious of him. Her eyes were on Morita's receding figure; her attention which even he couldn't get for more than a few minutes was focused solely on him. He approached her cautiously; he noted the fact that she was wearing a blue scarf which he assumed was Morita's. She was grasping it tightly with one hand; the other was holding the silver bracelet she had searched anxiously for only moments before.

When he stood directly in front of her, Hagu had finally looked up into his eyes. He was startled as he looked deeper into her lilac eyes. Over the past few weeks he could only see emptiness and desolation in those violet orbs but now as he gazed into them there was one emotion discernible – surprise… mixed with something else he couldn't quite distinguish.

Mayama's words swiftly resounded in his head.

_Morita is the only one who's able to mess with Hagu's heart even back then…_

Mayama was right on the dot as always. Takemoto was happy, extremely happy – yet at the same time, he felt like a thousand daggers were piercing his heart.

"Hagu-chan, you found your bracelet right? We should head back. Mayama-san and Ayumi-san might be getting worried by now." Even Takemoto could hear the detachment in his tone. He held out his hand and as usual, Hagu had taken it without a word.

The drive back to Hagu's house was in deafening silence. Takemoto did the talking most of the time and usually Hagu would only have to nod in reply. That was their usual conversation, even at her house but this time – Takemoto felt extremely anxious. He couldn't utter a word nor did he even want to. Something was stopping him from forming a single word or sentence adequate to say to her.

They pulled in front of the house and Hagu got out silently, taking only her things – not once did she take off Morita's scarf even as she entered her house. Takemoto followed mutely behind her with his jacket in hand as he entered the house.

Mayama and Yamada were seated at the dining table with restless faces when the two of them walked in.

"What took you so long?" Mayama barraged Takemoto the moment they walked into the kitchen. Takemoto remained silent as Hagu ambled back to her artroom. Even when he heard the door close shut, he remained still, gazing at the artroom.

Mayama and Yamada looked inquisitively at Takemoto; he sensed the two of them staring at him and he decided to sit down. He took a seat beside Yamada and Mayama poured him some fresh tea.

"Alright. Spill it. Something happened after we left right?" Mayama said firmly, breaking the silence. Takemoto gazed into his tea before taking a sip. The warmth diffused throughout his body but it didn't help to calm the turmoil that was currently raging inside him. He took a deep breath before replying.

"Hagu… met Morita-san." He said audibly. There was a loud gasp; Takemoto knew it was from Yamada. Takemoto didn't feel like talking but Mayama wanted some answers.

"And then –?" Mayama pressed.

"And then I don't know. When I finally reached her he whispered something to her then just walked away without a backward glance." Takemoto decided to leave out the part with the physical contact; it was eating away at him and he didn't want both of them, especially Mayama, to realize how affected he was.

"Takemoto-kun, it might be a little out of place for me to say this now but don't you think Hagu-chan looks somewhat… revived?" Yamada commented with a slight inclination of her head to the art room.

"You're right." Takemoto ungrudgingly agreed, remembering that glimmer of emotion he had seen in her eyes after her encounter with Morita. He looked wistfully at the closed door of Hagu's art room.

"Do you want to check up on her?" Mayama asked deliberately.

"Not today. I think if I bother her, she'd lose whatever it is she's holding onto right now." He replied before he took another sip of tea. Yamada placed her hand over his when he set down his tea cup.

"It'll be alright Takemoto-kun. Hagu-chan will get better. Definitely. So just hang in there okay? And if you ever need someone to talk to or just someone to walk together with you, don't hesitate to ask us." she said sincerely. Takemoto slowly blinked before giving a chuckle.

"Ayumi-san. Thank you." Takemoto replied earnestly as he squeezed her hand and smiled. Mayama sighed and patted his back.

"Maybe you should take a rest, Takemoto. You seem too stressed out these past few days." Mayama proposed.

"That's a good idea. You really should take a rest Takemoto-kun. You deserve it." Yamada seconded. He decided to take them up on their offer. With one last glance at the art room he stood up and said.

"Is it alright if I leave you to yourselves?"

"Do I need to remind you which of us is older?" Mayam asked pointedly. Takemoto chuckled.

"I guess not. I'll be having an early rest now." He said as he turned towards the living room.

"You do that." Mayam replied.

"Have a good rest. Takemoto-kun." Yamada said cheerfully.

When the door to the living room closed shut, Mayama heaved a big sigh.

"That idiot." He mumbled.

"But… Takemoto-kun, is actually very kind right? Even back then, he always thought of others rather than himself." Yamada said well naturedly.

"That's exactly why he's an idiot." Mayama huffed. Yamada smiled.

"You were an idiot back then too. Mayama." Yamada commented followed by a laugh. Mayama frowned. He knew she was referring to a long time ago when she still had feelings for him.

"I know, but we're already in our thirties and that guy is still such a selfless idiot. He hasn't changed at all!" he said agitatedly.

"Nor did we." Yamada said pointedly.

"That's not completely true. You changed. I changed – for different reasons." Mayama's voice trailed off.

"But the person who changed the most was Hagu-chan wasn't it?"

Mayama smiled at that.

"You're right. She grew up much faster than any of us despite the fact that she was the youngest."

"Ever since she got out of rehabilitation, she was as bright as the sun. Always smiling and always doing her best. She became a famous artist throughout Japan. She worked with different people and became so successful. But – I guess Hanamoto sensei's death was too much even for her."

"The higher to go, the harder you fall – that saying is worrying. There's also one other thing I've been worrying about these past seven years – a certain black sheep." Mayama commented. Yamada chuckled.

"But, wasn't the most mature one out of all of us, Morita-kun? You know, he always seemed to know what each of us felt. He helped me and comforted me a lot back when I still liked you. He was the most distant, the most mature, and the most unreasonable." Yamada said as if she was thinking aloud.

"As much as I hate to admit it, Morita-san _was_ the most mature…yet the same time he was always the most detached one out of all of us."

"You're right. He always did things on his own. He did whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted. But – but he was always refraining himself from getting close to anyone. He always kept people at a distance." Yamada said quietly. "Hanamoto-sensei talked about him to me before. Those were his exact words."

"In a way, it's sad right?" Mayama asked.

"But he had gotten close to Hagu-chan, unintentionally," Yamada interjected. "I guess you really can't help it when you fall in love." Yamada said with a knowing smile.

"Do you think he still feels the same way about her? He hasn't contacted her in years." Doubt was discernible in Mayama's tone.

"Maybe. Maybe not. The same question can be applied to Hagu-chan. Do you think she still loves him?" Yamada replied in the same tone Mayama had used. Mayama heaved another sigh.

"I don't know." He replied honestly.

"The only thing we can do is wait and see what happens."

"I know. It's always been the only thing we could do, Yamada." Mayama said despondently. Yamada suddenly cracked a smile.

"What?"

"You know, (Nomiya's first name) is annoyed that you still call me Yamada even after we were married."

"Well, I can't exactly call both of you Nomiya-san can I? and Nomiya doesn't like me calling you by your first name either so what choice do I have? Plus I'm more used to Yamada anyway."

"There was no need for you to be so defensive Mayama." Yamada said teasingly.

Mayama blushed slightly.

"You really have changed in seven years." Mayama huffed.

"You know you shouldn't cause stress for a pregnant woman," Yamada said in reply.

"Fine, fine. We should probably go. Nomiya would get angry if I stole you away from him before dinner."

"I could say the same thing about Rika-san can't I? She doesn't like you being away from her so much." Mayama helped her up and walked ahead of her towards the car. He paused at the doorstep, a hand on the doorknob. Yamada was right behind him.

"You know Yamada. Even if you have changed, you haven't stopped being an important friend of mine."

Yamada smiled. "What's with the sudden sentimentality?" Yamada said with embarrassment as she elbowed his back.

"It's nothing." Mayama said as he let her walk ahead of him.

Later in the night Takemoto woke up itching for a glass of water. While in the kitchen he caught a glimpse of Hagu's art room. The image of her from the cemetery flickered in his mind. Unintentionally, he began to draw towards the closed door.

He was surprised to find himself only a few feet from the door. The bright light from the kitchen trailed into the dark corridor and made his shadow cast upon the wooden door. Hesitantly, he took a step forward then another and another until he stood directly in front of her door.

He placed his hand tentatively on the doorknob. He pulled out all of his courage, squared his shoulders and quietly turned the doorknob. The door slightly creaked as Takemoto pushed it open. The dim light from the kitchen allowed him to spot Hagu's slender stature lying vulnerable on the floor. He could tell she was asleep by the even rising and falling of her shoulders.

Takemoto could see that she was holding on tightly to something around her neck. It took him a moment to realize that it was Morita's scarf – the scarf he had given to her at the cemetery. He kneeled beside her and just gazed at her serene face.

He didn't think it was possible for her to have such a calm sleeping face since Hanamoto-sensei's death. But now as he gazed at her – she looked like she could sleep forever. As Takemoto scrutinized her, he felt a sudden realization creep up on him.

It was Morita. The reason why she had such an expression was Morita. He was glad for her but at the same time he felt miserable.

Morita had stirred something inside her with those words he had whispered. He didn't know what but Takemoto felt immensely jealous and grateful of him. Just like always, he was able to mess up people's feelings by just being present. What was it about him that made him seem to incomprehensible? He was distant and unreasonable, but for some reason everybody loved him – Hagu loved him.

Takemoto reached out and tucked a stray lock of Hagu's hair behind her ears.

"Was it him you were waiting for all this time?" Takemoto whispered.

Hagu mumbled something incoherently and Takemoto pulled back his hand in shock. He calmed his breathing and began to wonder whether it was a trick of his hearing. He wasn't sure but he thought the words she uttered were "Don't go… Morita…"

* * *

Endnote: I hope you liked it just as much as I do. I just LOVE Hagu and Morita. They are so meant to be! Anyway, thanks for reading! Also, thanks a lot to those who put this story on their story alert list even when it was only the first chapter. By the way please REVIEW too; your comments are well appreciated. Arigatou Gozaimasu Minna-san! :D


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note**: YES! I updated two of my stories! Who knows, maybe I can update the third one! Anyway, this is the third chapter! I hope you like it! :D Hagu-Morita all the way!

**Title:** 12 Days of Christmas

**Disclaimer:** Honey and Clover is beyond my powers and I could never produce such an amazing anime like it.

**-OoO-**

{Day 2}

Takemoto stepped out into the snow filled driveway and stared at the grey hazy sky above him as he walked down the street. The driveway was filled with snow that bit into his leather boots; he had forgotten to wear leg warmers underneath. He began to feel imaginary needles prickling his fingertips; it was cold – just as he wanted it. He had chosen that coldness over the warmth of Hagu's house just so his senses would dull. He wished the snow could just bury him into nothingness just so he wouldn't feel the steel ball of jealousy forming in his chest.

Morita Shinobu.

What was it about you that drew people to you unconsciously? Mayama, Yamada, himself... even Hagu. We all seem to keep looking at your back unconsciously, looking where you're going, looking where you are – always unable to take our eyes off you. If we did turn away, we would just find ourselves turning back to make sure you're still there. He remembered how Hagu had whispered his name frantically in her sleep just awhile ago.

"_Morita. Morita. Don't go..." _

Tears had streaked down her face as she whispered this. It took all his effort to not wipe her tears and awaken her then. Before he knew it he had rushed outside hardly prepared for the cold weather. And so he walked aimlessly to keep himself as warm as he could despite how poorly clothed he was – but it also to keep his emotions under control. He ignored all the noise around him as he walked through the crowd of people doing Christmas shopping. Every passerby carried either a paper bag or a beautifully wrapped present.

Christmas.

Before he had met Hagu, that word didn't mean anything to Takemoto. It was just another day to him – until he had experienced his first real Christmas in college. Back then it didn't seem so bad and Takemoto had actually taken a slight liking to it. But somehow it didn't seem to matter again. It didn't matter if Hagu didn't enjoy it.

Did Christmas wishes come true? He asked rhetorically to himself. If he wished for Hagu to get better would it come true?

An image of a certain dark haired male materialized in his head. He had a carefree grin with intelligent and mischievous eyes. It was the sort of expression he made when he made a successful trick – when he made the impossible, possible.

That was it. Maybe if he wished fervently for that person to find her – maybe it would come true. But as the thought stayed in his head, his heart began to ache. He felt utterly useless compared to that person.

There it was again, that feeling of the distance between the two of them. Takemoto hadn't felt the despair of that gap for a long time. The last time it happened, he had burst everything on Morita which had inevitably led to a physical fight. If Morita saw him now, would he slug him as he did back then? He entertained the thought.

The difference between the talented and the ordinary. Why had he thought it to be so bleak back then? It was because Hagu belonged to that world – and so did Morita. He wanted to be able to be in that world with them. He wanted to walk side by side with both of them but he was always left staring at their backs. Always. So he had chosen to chase after them, if he couldn't walk with them. He wanted to be close enough to be seen whenever one of them turned back. To be noticed and seen by the talented, Takemoto supposed it was already a privilege in itself.

The chatter began to enter his system as he started paying attention to his surroundings. It was only then he realized that he had stopped walking and had stared blankly at the grey sidewalk. He also noticed that he was absolutely freezing, not to mention that it had begun to snow. He quickly took a step forward and almost fell flat on his face. He legs were numb, he thought with recognition as he frowned. He sighed, a puff of white smoke.

"We're going to be together on Christmas Eve!" a girl squealed to her friend as they passed by him.

"Yes, I'll be home for Christmas Dear, my boss let me have the day off" a man in a black suit said excitedly into his phone as Takemoto passed him.

"Mommy, can we have nabe in the kotatsu on Christmas?" a child asked his mother enthusiastically as he swung her hand back and forth.

This sounds made Takemoto smile bitterly. Christmas was supposed to be a happy holiday wasn't it?

"I wish I could spend Christmas with everyone one more time." He said aloud wistfully. It wasn't wrong for him to want such a thing one more time, was it?

He stared at the snow that fell from the sky as it landed on his palm.

Pure white. Beautiful. Cold. – It was in his palm for a moment but then it slowly melted away with the warmth of his hand. It was but a moment but in that moment that little beautiful fragment had been his. Would Hagu disappear the same way too? She was there one moment and then the next she was gone utterly. Like the snow melted away that cannot be brought back, would Hagu be the same?

He didn't want that. He wanted to see her, really badly. He missed her smile, her childishness that did not fade no matter how much time passed, her determined expression when she was working, her breathtaking works of art, and her light-hearted laugh. He wanted to see and experience all of it once more. He wanted to meet with Hanamoto Hagumi – the woman whom he loved unconditionally. The _only_ woman he would ever love.

Takemoto instinctively clenched his fist. It didn't matter anymore, he thought decisively. It didn't matter whether he had to be stabbed by a thousand needles or whether he had to walk through a flaming inferno – if it would bring back Hagu then he didn't care anymore. Even – even if he knew that she wouldn't choose him to be by her side.

With new found determination he decided to go to the shrine nearby to say his definite wish, whether or not Kami-sama would hear – it didn't matter. His purpose was simply to bind himself with the words he wanted to be true no matter what the cost. With great effort he took that first step despite the cold weather's claim on his legs. He had decided to endure everything for her sake; something like this was trivial compared to what lay ahead.

After that he would search for Morita, he resolved. What would come after that, even he didn't know. It was up to Morita by then.

**-OoO-**

_I'll be watching you. Always._

Those were her words – the words that had always pushed him forward. They were so simple but when she had uttered them with such honesty and conviction, they struck him so intensely. He had always carried them, ever since he decided to work for himself.

A scene began forming. He was walking forward unwaveringly knowing that _she_ was watching him. He turned back. She wasn't there. He felt his lips form her name but his voice betrayed him. No sound would come out of his mouth. He searched frantically but he couldn't see her.

Where? Where? Where? Where? Where? – That was the question that kept running through his mind before he woke up to the sound of his alarm clock. Morita immediately sat up, heaving. He discovered as he pushed back hi hair that he was drenched in sweat. He gave a sigh.

A dream.

But it was too realistic to his liking. He preferred happy, meaningless dreams, thank you, he thought as he stood up and walked to the bathroom. He opened the tap and splashed cold water on his face. He stared at his reflection for a minute.

"Has it really been seven years?" he asked to no one in particular. He scrutinized his face more closely. He hadn't changed much in seven years. Even Kaoru had thought so. If he asked her, would she say he had changed? Maybe. Maybe not. She was the only one who he allowed to watch him all this time. She would definitely give him an unexpected answer.

But _she_ had definitely changed in seven years. He could see just how much she changed in the pictures and magazines Kaoru often sent him when he was abroad. He would see her on the cover with a slightly embarrassed smile. Her work grew more and more amazing as time passed that her name was spoken occasionally where he was working.

He smiled as pulled a dry towel form the rack to dry his face with. The scent of clean laundry brought him back to the present. He walked out of the shower while taking off his wet shirt. As he pulled out a dry shirt from his messy backpack, he heard his stomach grumble. He glanced at the clock and saw that it was already quarter passed nine. He had slept in. He wore the shirt and he pulled on a pair of pants that was strewn carelessly on the floor.

He might as well go to a convenience store to buy a snack or two. He didn't really eat breakfast anymore when he lived abroad. He always worked till early morning and usually woke up for lunch instead. It had become sort of a habit to just skip breakfast daily.

He pulled out a wad of cash from his backpack and pocketed the keys to the office. He walked to the door and pulled a jacket from the rack. He peeked through the window blinds and saw that it was snowing lightly. He decided to put on a beanie and when he reached out for his scarf he realized it wasn't where he usually left it.

The encounter yesterday with a certain blonde haired woman replayed in his mind. He tried searching for a spare but it was all in vain. He decided to do without it and just left the office.

It was when he was outside that he comprehended just how cold it was. His tip of his nose reddened almost immediately. Morita walked down the sidewalk to keep himself from freezing over, it was only when he was pretty far that he remembered that he didn't know where the nearest convenience store was. Tokyo had changed a lot in seven years and he didn't recognize most of the land marks anymore.

He stopped and skimmed his surroundings. He was enlightened when he saw a small convenience store in the corner of the next street crossing. He walked leisurely towards it but when he reached the entrance he saw a steamed bun stall right beside it. He felt the irresistible aroma take hold of him and before he knew it he bought a dozen meat buns.

He bit into one and felt pure bliss as he savoured the warmth and flavour. He must have looked like an idiot on the street then but he didn't care – he never did. He looked up at the sky and the snow still continued to fall. Morita shivered slightly at the strong cold that enveloped him. He looked at a distance and saw a shrine.

It would be the perfect place to eat his steamed buns. There would be people, but not so much as to disturb his meal time. He smiled at the idea and went on his way, half jogging to keep his body warm. His lack of a scarf was troubling, he concluded as he adjusted his beanie.

The moment he finished the last set of stairs he had expected there to be several people but in truth there was only one man. He had hair the color of ash and a muscular build. Somehow the person seemed strangely familiar from afar. When Morita strode closer, he realized with as start who it was.

Takemoto.

He thought just as the clapped his hands twice and turned to leave. Morita noticed that Takemoto's eyes were ablaze with an emotion he couldn't quite put his finger on but it disappeared immediately when he saw comprehension diffuse across his face. He opened his mouth then closed it. He blinked thrice.

Morita chuckled at his reaction. At the sound of his laugh Takemoto seemed to have concluded that he wasn't an illusion.

"Yo, Takemoto. Morning." He greeted pleasantly with a smile. It was how they used to greet each other when they were in college. It felt nostalgic coming from his lips, he thought.

Takemoto apparently sobered up a bit with his greeting. He came forward slowly and Morita raised the meat bun filled plastic in his hand.

"Would you like to join me for a snack?" he invited. Takemoto nodded a bit looked like he was contemplating whether or not this was a trick. He was just like this when they were in college. Always hesitating to a point that Morita always teased him because of it, he remembered as he scanned the surroundings for a suitable place to eat in ease.

"Then let's eat over there." He said as he pointed to the bench he had spotted nearby under the shade of the tree. It was a good spot to stay out of the falling snow; he decided and made his way towards it, Takemoto followed silently behind.

Both of them sat with the meat buns situated between them on the cold bench. For a few minutes they only sat in silence staring at the falling snow. Morita was the first to break the silence.

"Ne, Takemoto. If you won't help yourself to any meat buns I'll be forced to resort to forcefully shoving one down your throat," he threatened with an evil smile.

Morita saw his eyes widen a fraction. Morita was sure that Takemoto had learned in college the hard way that when he said he would do something he would definitely do it no matter how absurd or unreasonable it sounded. Takemoto turned to glimpse his expression and when he did he saw the instinctive shudder he made. Morita watched as he hastily shoved a meat bun into his mouth.

Takemoto looked blankly for a few seconds before the most ecstatic smile formed on his face. Morita laughed aloud at his reaction once again. Takemoto must have realized what kind of expression he had then for he turned away with slightly embarrassed face.

"Tasty right?" Morita inquired and Takemoto nodded and replied for the first time with words.

"Yeah. They're really good. Where did you buy them?" he asked taking another one and biting from it.

"Some stall near a convenience store nearby." Morita replied simply as he too bit from another meat bun.

"Oh. I see." was his only reply. They went back to silence as both of them continued to eat one after the other. They only stopped being fascinated by the falling snow when their hands bumped in searching the now empty plastic bag.

"It's gone already." He said in suprise as he inspected the plastic bag.

"Sorry. I didn't eat breakfast." Takemoto said apologetically.

"What a coincidence. I haven't either." Morita said evenly as he adjusted the beanie on his head.

"Eh? Then why did you offer some to me?"

Morita's face turned into that of pure sympathy and he said.

"Because I wouldn't want you to get jealous if I were the only one who ate all of it. I would have felt guilty if you showed me pleading eyes while I ate" He said in an annoyingly sympathetic tone.

"I would not get jealous!" Takemoto burst out.

"Now, now. There's no need to be so defensive Takemoto. We all know how much of a glutton you are." He said as he patted his back soothingly. He looked indignant at this statement and he stood up.

"You're much more of a glutton than I am!" he shot back.

"But you ate more than I did." He pointed out.

"No I did not. How do you know?" he replied.

"I was keeping count. Since you ate two more than me you have to treat me to ramen." He said slyly.

"How did it come to that?" Takemoto replied in exasperation.

"Because I'm still hungry since I didn't eaten breakfast. And as I said, you ate two more than me so it's your obligation to pay me back with ramen." He said logically and this irritated Takemoto even more.

"Why does it have to be ramen? Also, you set me up!" he retorted.

"How could you accuse me of such a thing? I wouldn't dare trick you, Takemoto. Are you gonna back down on your word? A person who breaks his word isn't fit to be called a man." he said cunningly and received a thump on the head from Takemoto.

"I never promised anything!" he said irately.

"And now you deny it! Takemoto you are a coward. You can't even pay back a friend properly." He said conclusively as he massaged his head with his hand. He looked like a five year old who was just denied ice cream yet stubbornly pesters someone for it endlessly which inevitably leads to you wanting to whack him on the head.

**-OoO-**

Takemoto stared at him in utter disbelief for a few seconds and just before he was about to give him another thwack to head, a thought popped into his mind.

Morita was being unreasonable. He was being frustrating and vexing. He was being confusing. He was acting as innocent as a demon – he was acting exactly as he would when they were in college. How long has it been since he felt the presence of this person this way? When was the last time he got teased and irritated by the very same person?

The nostalgia hit him like a meteor from space. At this realization, he stared expressionlessly at the cowering Morita who saw his intention of hitting him beforehand and was ready to retaliate. When Takemoto slowly lowered his hand, he still looked suspiciously at him.

He smiled and gave a resigned sigh. "You're so troublesome, Morita-san." He said helplessly. "Fine. I'll treat you to ramen if you're still hungry." He said calmly. He turned to Morita and saw a look of mild surprise before he lunged head on at Takemoto.

"Takemo-to! You're such a good guy!" he shouted tearfully as he hugged him tightly and rubbed his face against Takemoto's like a purring cat. Takemoto struggled to get away from him – quite disgusted with what he was doing in broad daylight.

"Morita-san get off of me. If you don't you won't get any ramen!" he said helplessly and Morita immediately let go and sat like an obedient dog waiting for a treat. His eyes were shining innocently.

Geez, he hasn't changed at all. Takemoto thought wearily as he stood up. He stared at his college senpai for a minute and brooded. Yeah, he hasn't changed at all – so he should be the best choice for someone to look for her. Finding her would be impossible for someone like him but maybe if it was him – maybe he'll succeed.

That was it. Because he didn't change – his constancy, which was what drew people to him. He remained unchanged no matter situation. He would always be unreasonable, he would always be carefree, and he would always be him. That in itself was already dazzling. He would do things in way which only he could do. He had already left a mark on each person he encountered. He was a person you just couldn't forget no matter how hard you try. If he left, you would find yourself looking for him. If he turned to look somewhere you would unconsciously look towards there too. That was Morita Shinobu. Sly, devious, inconsiderate, gluttonous, unchanging friend who would always remind you of you are when you ever got lost.

"Takemoto?" Morita asked curiously as he cocked his head to one side. Takemoto had broken from his sudden epiphany when he heard Morita's inquisitive voice.

"I'm really glad to have met you, Morita-san." Takemoto said all of a sudden. Morita looked slightly surprised.

"What this all of a sudden, Takemoto-kun? Have you by any chance fallen in love with me?" he asked jokingly with the most annoying facial expression.*

"Heck no! I am 100 percent straight." He replied curtly. Takemoto had begun to feel grateful to him for a second there but you can only have such patience for someone like Morita who can make a situation extremely awkward in say about ten seconds.

"Of course you are. You're in love with her aren't you?" he said cleverly. This time he wasn't any hint of teasing in his reply. He was unpredictable as usual and it wore out Takemoto more than it would have when they were in college. It seems you had to have constant practice when dealing with Morita or else you'll get rusty.

"I don't get you at all, Morita-san." He replied before he comprehended the words Morita had said. "Wait, what did you say?" he asked hastily. Morita gave a smile, a sly one at that.

"I said that you're statement is questionable and you might just still be in a state of confusion as to what your true gender is," he replied easily as though he wasn't actually implying that Takemoto was a homosexual.

"For God's sake, I am a MAN." Takemoto put special emphasis in the last word.

"I'm not implying you are otherwise Takemoto, what I'm saying is that your preferences may be rather...assorted." he finished quite satisfied with his reply. This definitely flipped a switch in Takemoto.

"I AM IN LOVE WITH HAGU AND I HAVE NEVER LOVED ANY OTHER WOMAN OR MAN IN MY WHOLE LIFE!" he shouted as loud as he could. Takemoto was expecting him to hide behind a tree or curl up into a ball somewhere but Morita was seated on the bench, not even batting an eyelash – just looking at him cautiously.

"I see." Was all he said in reply to his outburst.

"How about you then, Morita-san? Who do you really love?" the question unconsciously slipped from his lips. Morita's expression didn't change.

"I suppose there's no correct answer to that question," he said as he stood up. It wasn't a straight answer but it was something typical for Morita, he always gave vague answers. "Shall we go then?" he asked completely changing the flow of the conversation to his liking. Takemoto decided to follow his lead for now but his question also confused him.

"Where to?"

"A ramen stand. You still owe me remember?" He replied with a mischievous smile and Takemoto realized that he had forgotten all about it. "You forgot right? Now you have to buy me the largest bowl."

"What? I never agreed to that!" he retorted trying to distinguish whether he was joking, sadly enough his reply answered to that.

"Its compensation for you poor memory, Takemoto." He tut-tutted and walked swiftly away from the shrine.

"That's hardly a reason for me to compensate you!"

"Ah, are you trying to break your word again?" Takemoto recognized the pattern of the conversation.

"Not this again!" he said in exasperation and defeat. Morita smiled at his frustration.

Takemoto stared at the large ramen bowl in front of Morita and scowled. He weighed his wallet and noticed that it was distinctly lighter than before. This dark haired glutton had practically robbed him an eighth of his salary bonus.

"Itadakimasu." He said seriously as he eyed the gigantic ramen bowl before him. It was the same way you eyed a puzzle you wanted to solve or a challenge you wanted finished. Then without any warning he swiftly broke apart the chopsticks and began to dig in.

Takemoto was left to listen to the rhythmic slurping noises his companion made. He glanced outside towards the exit and saw that the snow had finally stopped falling. The chef quietly placed a glass of water in front of Takemoto.

"That's on the house. You look quite worn out young man, you're companion must be a handful." He said observantly.

"You can say that again mister." Takemoto agreed as both of them stared at Morita's dark head which was still devouring continuously at rapid speed. In a few seconds he drank the last drop of soup and dropped the bowl quite noisily on the counter.

"Ahhh, that was great." He said blissfully as he patted his stomach and played around with the toothpick in his mouth. Takemoto glanced at his watch for the first time today and was utterly shocked.

"It's only a few more minutes before 5:00 pm!" he said in disbelief. He stared at the clock for a few seconds hoping that the time would miraculously change but unfortunately it didn't.

"Damn, I was only supposed to stay out until 1:00. This is bad." he was supposed to be back early to check up on Hagu but he had gone overtime this much. This was really bad. He had to leave. Now.

He hurriedly put on his jacket and thanked the owner of the stall.

"I'll see you sometime Morita-san. I really need to go now." Without waiting for a reply he dashed off leaving only Morita and the chef staring after him with identical expressions.

**-OoO-**

The slow creaking sound of the swing was the only thing Morita could hear as he swayed back and forth. He stared up at the bright moon overhead. It was amazing that the moon could be so beautiful. At the sight of the clear moon his thoughts began to drift to a certain blonde lady.

Yesterday he had seen her, touched her and even smelled her – but why was it that this yearning for her didn't want to go away? Rather it seemed like it increased all the more because of their meeting.

_I AM IN LOVE WITH HAGU AND I HAVE NEVER LOVED ANY OTHER MAN OR WOMAN IN MY WHOLE LIFE_!

Takemoto's voice resonated in his head. So he was also the same him – both of them were still bound to Hanamoto Hagumi. When Takemoto had asked him who he loved, his answer was as honest as it could get. There was really no right answer to that question because Morita himself didn't know the answer. Maybe he did love her but would he allow himself to do such a thing?

All his life he learned to depend on no one. He purposely put a distance between him and his acquaintances, but Hagumi – no he had broken the barrier himself when he let himself get close to her. He was like a moth drawn to the bright flame. He let himself get close to her, but in the end he was always scared that she herself would end up burning him. So he kept his distance but again and again he was repeatedly drawn to that bright and dazzling flame.

Then he had seen her again after seven years of keeping away and the yearning to see her he had always kept in check poured out of him like an erupting volcano – it was uncontrollable. Even now he wanted to touch her and feel her warmth envelop him. And it was because of that very yearning that he wanted to stay in the cold as long as possible – because if he got used to being utterly frozen from everything around him, he wouldn't desire her warmth so much.

That was also the reason he had not sent a reply to any of her letters. He wanted to live without having to depend on her anymore but he just always found himself looking for her. Searching aimlessly for what he really wanted yet denying it the moment he found it. That was his resolve, his resolve to not let himself be hurt by anything ever again.

Morita realized then that he had been gripping the icy metal chains quite hard and when he slowly let go, his hands were red and they stung painfully whenever he clenched and unclenched his fists. He sighed as he stared at them and he instinctively glanced up at the moon. It was a blank sky, miraculously. There were no stars visible and the only thing you could see was the crescent moon shining radiantly overhead.

It was so clear and so contrasting to his conflicting emotions. His body was half numb already but he didn't care. If only it was possible to turn your heart into ice – then life wouldn't be so complicated. He closed his eyes. He didn't want to see and he didn't want to feel. And just like always, before getting attached or involved in anything –he stood up and walked away. Life really was easier if you could just walk away from everything but sadly that could not apply to him anymore – because no matter what he did, he could not walk away from Hanamoto Hagumi. He is a moth that will always be drawn to her flame relentlessly.

**-OoO-**.

*- you know, that face Morita makes where he puts out his tongue and he has the large shoujo eyes. I don't really know how to describe the face but it's that stupid face that always goes with a thumbs up sign. Morita used it quite a few times in the anime.

**Endnote: **I finally had the time to update my stories! At last, I finally found some inspiration when I realized that I was already 15 years old going 16 this year, gosh I feel so old now : Anyway, I hope you liked the chapter. I made it longer just like all my updates so I hope I can rake in some reviews. Please review okay? Your reviews always give me inspiration to go on with my story, so if you want a quick update be sure to review!

P.S. this chapter kind of confused me at the last part. Even I'm not sure what Morita's thinking.


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note: **its summer people! *wipes away sweat with sleeve* I wish I lived in Hokkaido so I could enjoy the cold weather but no, I had to be stuck in a **tropical country**, **near the equator**, more specifically in the **Philippines** in which I live in the **hottest city** throughout the country. God forbid I should explain how much of hassle that is. Let's just say that waking up in the morning to find it so freaking hot does not do well for my creative juices and so if this came out a little late I'm very sorry, you may blame our cursed weather here – not that I haven't done that very colorfully these past few days of scorching sunny-ness.

Ah, sorry sorry, now I'm ranting to you about the weather. I'm glad I was even able to cough this out of my practically half fried brain. Anyway, enjoy! :D hopefully you have better weather wherever you are.

**Title:** 12 Days of Christmas

**Disclaimer:** Saying that I own Honey and Clover would be like saying that it snows every year in the Philippines which is obviously – _impossible_, so there.

-**OoO-**

{Day 3}

Takemoto had woken up groggily to the repeated ringing of his mobile phone. He cocked open one eye and squinted at the dimness of the room. There was a small flickering light where the beeping noise came from and Takemoto reached out for his phone. When he felt it against his fingers he flipped it open and without looking at the caller ID – pressed the answer button and pulled it to his ear.

"Hello?" his voice sounded rough – anyone on the other line could tell that he had just woken up. A familiar voice spoke into his ear.

"Sorry, did I wake you?" Mayama's deep voice asked.

"Mayama?" Takemoto asked vaguely – still disoriented having just woken up. He stretched his free hand trying to get some feeling back into it. The cold had gotten through his thick blanket and his feet were freezing.

"Yeah. Sorry, I can tell by your voice you just got up. I called to tell you that Yamada was rushed to the hospital just now by Nomiya. I'm on my way there now. He says she had her first spasms just a little while ago when both of them were having breakfast." Mayama's words got his attention immediately.

He sat up very abruptly and was rewarded by his vision blurring slightly because of the blood that rushed to his head. He pressed his free hand against his temples.

"Got it. I'll be on my way there soon. Should I bring Hagu with me?" he inquired, very awake now as he glanced at the clock. It was 6:08 – Hagu usually woke up at 7:00. He didn't really like ruining her sleep but if it was an emergency – then it was a whole different story. He pushed away the blanket over torso and stood up with a bit of effort.

"Is she up?" Mayama asked.

Takemoto stood up to check.

"Hold on a bit." He muttered.

He walked swiftly to her art room, turned the knob discreetly and pushed the door open inaudibly – he had gotten quite skilled at being stealthy whenever he checked up on her. He took a small peek and found her leaning against the wall with her legs pulled up to her chest. She was breathing in a steady rhythm with her eyes closed shut and Takemoto could easily see that she was asleep.

She always slept in odd positions and once or twice he would always wonder how she could even sleep like that. At least that little bit of her didn't disappear, he thought with smile as he gently closed the door and silently moved away from it. When he was back at the kitchen he leaned against the counter and spoke to Mayama.

"She's still sleeping." He informed him, putting the phone back against his ear.

"Hmm, I suppose we should let her rest for now. You can pick her up and bring her later when she's awake." He said reasonably and Takemoto nodded – though he knew Mayama couldn't see it.

"Sure. I'll be over in about half an hour. I'll just prepare breakfast and get myself ready."

"Okay. See you later then, Takemoto. You know where to find me."

"Yeah." Takemoto replied before ending the call. He flipped the phone shut and set it on the dining table before deciding to prepare food for him and Hagu. At least if she woke up to find him gone she wouldn't have to be troubled to cook her food.

He pulled on an apron and started preparing the rice. He washed it and set it on the stove to cook. While the rice was cooking he prepared the ingredients for the main course and appetizer. He decided to do the main course first. He cracked a few eggs and whisked it then cut up some spring onion, garlic, tomatoes, and shrimp. He sautéed the ingredients he cut then poured in the egg. After letting the egg cook together with the other ingredients he turned off the flame and the clear smell of freshly cooked omelet filled the room. He scooped all of it into a bowl and set in on the dining table.

Next he started on the appetizer. The first thing he did was to peel some apples and dice them. He picked a cabbage and lettuce and placed all the leaves in the base of a bowl. He placed the diced apples on top of the leafy greens then he pulled out some cherry tomatoes and a lemon from the fridge. He dropped the cherry tomatoes over with the diced apples and added lemon zest to top it off.*

When he set the two dishes on the table Takemoto looked quite satisfied with himself. Ever since he started working he had to cook for himself every day. Whenever he cooked back then had always ended up looking and tasting like burnt charcoal so he usually ended ordering delivery at his apartment – that was until a certain someone decided to pay him a visit.

It was Hagu. Just when he heard the news that she had finally gotten out of rehab she had suddenly appeared at his doorstep together with everybody else – well, everybody except Morita of course. It was then that they found out that he always ate takeout due to the numerous boxes he had forgotten to throw out and Hanamoto-sensei had admonished him for it. He got a really bad scolding but Hagu didn't say a word.

In the end they left late into the night with Mayama and Hanamoto-sensei taking turns at the wheel. The next day though he had received a package with his name labeled on it in that familiar clumsy scrawl he hadn't seen in a long time. Inside the package was a cook book with a note from Hagu.

_It would be better if you ate homemade food, Takemoto-kun. You shouldn't be so careless with your health.I hope the cook book will help._

Those were the words – he had memorized them, engraved them into his mind. Ever since then he never ate takeout unless necessary and no matter how awful his cooking tasted he always finished everything off. He had gotten progressively better at it that he was used to cooking more complicated dishes and once in a while he would cook high class food just to treat himself for a job well done.

As always, Hagu could so easily affect him – it was probably the same way Morita affected her. He began to wonder about Morita as he prepared orange juice and sat down to eat.

"Itakimasu." He said politely as he bowed.

He dug in and let his thoughts wander as he chewed. Did Morita ever think about Hagu? He was in love with her seven years ago but was his feelings unchanged until now? Were they really the same? Both of them – were they really alike?

He finished his meal and finished off his juice before heading towards the bathroom. He would have a cold shower to wake him up a little more. After that he would go to the hospital, he wouldn't have time think about questions that wouldn't have answers.

The human mind really was so fickle.

**-OoO-**

Morita woke up feeling extremely feverish and hot. He pushed away the two layers of blankets he had over him. He blinked a few times as his eyes adjusted to the dim room. He always forgot that there was hardly any sun during the Yuletide season.

He sat up slowly and almost fell back from the sudden wave of dizziness that hit him. He leaned forward with his hand against his aching head. His whole body felt prickly and he felt the sudden urge to vomit even though he hadn't even eaten anything since yesterday.

He was sick.

It was pretty obvious seeing his condition.

Well, it was no wonder – given the fact that he stayed under the cold weather for who knows how long without a scarf or mitten on either hand. At the moment, he felt like the inside of his skull was being hit by a hammer repeatedly every second that passed. He pulled himself to his feet with a great deal of effort and tottered to the table where money was kept in a brown envelope. He pulled out a few dollars and messily pulled on a jacket and his beanie. He staggered as he put on his shoes and he used the wall as a support.

He needed to take medicine as soon as possible since he never liked it whenever he was sick. It was all too troublesome especially when you wanted some work done. He had made it a habit to keep himself in good health as much as possible but it seems coming back to Japan had shaken him up a little bit or maybe meeting a certain girl had messed up his bodily functions.

He swayed as he walked out of his door. Each step he took made the world spin around and he had to pause every now and then just to get his bearings right. Honestly he could have just asked Kaoru to bring him some medicine but he didn't want to trouble his older brother more than he already had – so he gritted his teeth and made his way to a drugstore.

He had made it quite a distance from the building when he felt himself about to collapse. His breathing was labored and he shuffled towards the park when his vision was already blurring. He hastily sat on the swing where he had sat the whole of last night and shuddered at the coldness of the metal. Though his body temperature was running high, he felt chilled to the bone out in streets.

He closed his eyes and leaned his head against the iron chains holding the swing up. The iciness of it didn't help him in the least. After a few deep breaths, he suddenly sneezed and gave another involuntary shudder. He felt his nose running as he slowly opened his eyes. Just as he was about to wipe his nose with the sleeve of his jacket, a fair hand offered him a clean white handkerchief with pink floral designs.

He stared at the hand for a second and saw a very familiar silver bracelet adorned on it. His breath caught and he slowly raised his eyes to a person he had never expected to appear just then.

_Hagumi_

She was looking down at him with a touch of concern gracing her delicate facial features. Her eyebrows slightly furrowed and her lips pursed together. They only stared at each other for a few more seconds before Morita suddenly grinned at her. He gently took the handkerchief from her palm and wiped his watering eyes before he cleaned his nose properly. He took another deep breath before facing her again – his pulse quickened in a different way from before, this time it wasn't his sickness that was making him tense.

"Are you okay?" she asked him in a vague tone – like she didn't really know what to say to him. He had not heard her voice in such a long time and he almost didn't recognize that it was hers. He had forgotten how small and timid her voice always sounded. It seems not even time could change her way of speaking – this small fact made him smile.

"I should be the one asking you that." He said as he held the handkerchief in his hand that wasn't gripping the metal chain, he decided that he would return it to her when he had it washed. She was silent for a minute before she moved and sat down in the swing adjacent to him. He peeked at her though the corner of his eye and saw that she was staring blankly at the ground.

"What are you doing here?" he asked quietly, trying to ignore intense aching if his head that was eating away at him.

"I was walking around." She replied shortly, pushing the swing backward with a kick of her boots. The swing creaked as it swayed back and forth.

"Looking for something?" he asked curiously. Then he slowly added a follow up question, "or is it someone?" he asked deliberately. He knew he shouldn't have asked but he couldn't help himself.

He turned his head towards her and saw that she was gripping the metal chains as hard as he was. There was another moment of silence as she stopped the swing and moved her gaze to the sky before she replied.

"I don't know." She replied desolately. Her eyes looked empty from where Morita was. They were looking but they weren't really _focusing_ on anything. He wondered when her eyes had begun to look like that. Back then whenever he looked into her violet orbs he would always see a strong emotion – whether it was anger, irritation or bliss – she always looked so _alive_ and _bright_. That was her existence in his life after all. How could her light have dimmed this much?

Hanamoto Shuuhei. It was because of him. Probably how she was in his life was the same way he was in hers. She needed him – but he wasn't here anymore. It was only then that Morita really saw how broken she was. His heart ached, she didn't want to see her like this.

"Then – is there some place you want to go by any chance?" he asked without really meaning to.

She turned her head in his direction and their eyes met again. She contemplated before giving an answer – something flickering in her lavender eyes.

"Home." She replied quietly.

In a way, it was a very Hagumi like answer. She always had the simplest answer to any question – there was never anything complicated when it came to her. Being so close to her seemed to have made his condition a lot better somehow and Morita actually found the strength to stand up on his wobbly legs.

"Okay." He walked and stood in front of the swing she was seated on. He leaned forward and held out his hand. "Let's go then."

She gently took his hand then she looked up into his eyes. He saw the question in her violet orbs.

_Where?_

He smiled and replied, "Home…"

**-OoO-**

It was full of activity inside the hospital as Takemoto passed through the doors. There were nurses and doctors walking here and there with clipboards, medicine, machinery and such. He looked around and found the customer service counter. He walked towards it and spoke to the clerk who was busy talking on the phone. When she put down the down she turned her full attention to him immediately.

"Yes? How may I help you sir?" she asked in a cheery tone.

"Um, I'd like to ask for the room number of Mrs. Nomiya Ayumi." He replied in the most business like tone he could manage.

The clerk rapidly typed Ayumi's name in keyboard of the computer beside her with practiced ease. She looked at the screen for a moment before replying to his request, "Miss Nomiya Ayumi is currently present in room 102 of the maternity ward and according to her schedule – she will be brought to the delivery room exactly 45 minutes from now at 7:30."

"Thank you." He replied graciously with a bow.

"Is there anything else you'd like to know, sir?" she asked and he shook his head in reply.

"There's nothing else. Thank you again." He answered with a hand raised.

"You're welcome sir." She replied just as the phone rang once more. When she picked it up he decided that he should make his way to Ayumi-san's room as quickly as possible. He went on his way and soon enough he was standing in front of room 102 of the maternity ward – but he was hesitating to enter due to the fact that he could clearly hear Mayama and Nomiya's bickering voices on the other side of the door. Mayama's voice was full irritation and annoyance while Nomiya's was perfectly calm in giving witty replies.

He sighed and slowly opened the door which creaked to announce his arrival to the two men who were currently in a heated argument. Takemoto had heard snippets of the argument and had guessed that the two were actually arguing as to what gender the baby was. Ayumi, who was lying on the bed beside the two men looked quite weary, it seemed like the conversation had been going on forever.

"I'm telling you it's definitely a girl! I won't accept my first child to be a boy!" Nomiya said quite determinedly.

"And I'm saying that your child will definitely be a boy!" Mayama shot back stubbornly.

Just as Nomiya was about to give a reply he spotted Takemoto at the corner of his eye and turned his head away from Mayama towards his direction immediately.

"Takemoto!" he cried in surprise. Mayama followed his gaze and he grinned as he saw him standing by the door. Ayumi's head turned to him and their eyes met briefly. She gave a welcoming smile and he smiled back in return.

"You're here – took you long enough." Mayama jabbed at him almost immediately. Takemoto knew he would pick on him as soon as he entered.

"I had to deal with a lot of things before I could leave the house with ease." He replied offhandedly.

"Sorry to trouble you Takemoto." Ayumi's voice said apologetically from the bed. She was in hospital clothes – the same type of clothes Hagu had worn before, he remembered and was gently rubbing her abdomen with her hand.

"No need to apologize, Ayumi-san. So what exactly is it? A boy or a girl?" he asked curiously as he came and stood beside the bed having both Mayama and Nomiya in his peripheral vision.

"Don't say it!" Mayama and Nomiya cried out at the same time, heads turning to Ayumi's direction.

"I bet you a thousand yen it's a boy girl!" Nomiya said challengingly as he faced Mayama smugly.

"You're on!" Mayama shot back in the same tone as Nomiya.

Takemoto could almost see the burning aura surrounding the two of them and he resisted the urge to laugh at loud. As he watched them with interest Ayumi lightly tugged the sleeve of his jacket and motioned him to come closer. He obliged and leaned closer. When he did, Ayumi whispered something in his ear.

"It's actually a boy." She whispered then she pulled back and gave a chuckle. "Keep it a secret okay?" she added and he nodded. Takemoto cracked a smile – Nomiya-san was going to be a thousand yen poorer by tomorrow. He wondered if Mayama would purposely rub it in Nomiya's face when he found out. Well, knowing Mayama he would probably _discreetly_ rub it in Nomiya's face in a way that it was way more annoying than saying bragging aloud.

"Have you decided on a name?" he asked curiously, the question popping into his head. He assumed that since she knew the gender she would have a name already in mind.

"Oh dear, that's what got them arguing in the first place. Mayama asked me the very same question and Nomiya gave a girl's name. Then he asked me if I knew the gender I said I did but Nomiya asked me to keep it a secret so it would be a surprise. Then it came to the point they argued about which gender it really was." She said with a sigh. Takemoto couldn't help but laugh, the two of them always acted like kids whenever they were in each other's company. Sometimes it was refreshing but most of the time it was plain exhausting.

"So have you decided?"

"Yes, come closer I'll tell you." She whispered the name in his ear again and he couldn't help but smile at her answer.

"I don't think Nomiya-san would disagree with your choice." He replied easily. It really was a fitting name.

"What I'm worried about is that he won't be happy with the boy's gender." She replied with a slightly worried expression.

"He'll get over it." He said promptly and she laughed in reply.

"I suppose so," She said cheerfully. "I feel much better now that you're here Takemoto. You're always easier to deal with than these two." She said aloud as she gestured to the two idiots who were trying to erase each other's existence with their stares. It was obvious they had heard her because both of them abruptly them turned towards her at the same time.

"Hey!" both of them said in perfect unison.

"You guys are so alike." Takemoto commented with a teasing smile. He knew they didn't like being put together but he couldn't help himself.

"I agree." Ayumi replied promptly. The two of them laughed together. It seems like both of them were on the same page today – they usually were anyway.

"We are not!" both of them cried in outrage.

"Hmph, Ayumi how could you lump me together with someone like him?" Nomiya asked indignantly as he cleaned against his chair and crossed his arms over his chest.

"That should be my line! Bakashi." Mayama said in annoyance, moving his gaze away from Nomiya.

"Tsk,tsk. Resorting to calling me names, Mayama. How childish." Nomiya replied pointedly.

"Oh shut up Nomiya. I don't want to hear that from you. Hopefully your _son_ won't take after you." Mayama huffed in reply.

"I told you it's going to be a girl!" Nomiya said, fully irritated now. He turned at the same time Mayama turned and they openly glared at each other.

"And I'm saying-" Mayama began to say before Takemoto decided to finally cut in.

"You _are_ aware that you're repeating the very same conversation you had a while ago right?" Takemoto interrupted before another fight could break out. Both of them were probably relieving their stress and anxiety by picking on each other purposely but it was getting a little out of hand. He was afraid they would start fighting for real and come on, how old were they anyway?

"You're right. I shouldn't be wasting precious seconds of my life on someone like him. I shouldn't have even told him about Ayumi." Nomiya said as he turned away again and stared at the wall. He looked like he was in a very foul mood. It seemed that the same mood infected Mayama with the reply he gave.

"I didn't come here for your sake anyway." Mayama said coldly as he turned away too.

"Really you two, over the years your situation has gotten worse and worse." Ayumi said with a resigned sigh. It seemed like she had seen one too many arguments of these two over the years. Takemoto could sympathize with her. He knew two people at work who were the same as the two and he had always felt much older after watching them fight with each other repeatedly.

"I shouldn't have agreed to make you my child's godfather." Nomiya grumbled as he rested his chin on one of his hands.

"Wait, what? I'm his godfather?" Mayama asked, his eyes wide with shock. Takemoto blinked surprised too but it seemed like a pretty obvious choice, now that he thought about it.

"No you're not, I changed my mind." He said snappily.

"Takeshi," Ayumi said very firmly. "You agreed with me that it had to be Mayama. You even said that you couldn't think of anyone else worthy of the honor." She said pointedly. Nomiya flushed and grunted in reply.

Mayama looked utterly nonplussed for a few more seconds before a mischievous smile suddenly formed on his lips. He had an evil glint in his eyes just then and Takemoto felt that he should have stopped him then but thought better of it.

"I didn't know you thought so highly of me Nomiya. All this time – I'm flattered." He said deliberately. Nomiya harrumphed and refused to look at him, his face still dashed with a tinge of red.

"Don't let it make your head swell, Mayama. I only agreed because you're the only one I trust to treat my child like your own." He replied curtly.

It was only a little bit but even Takemoto had heard the embarrassment in Nomiya's tone. Mayama cracked a smile. Ayumi smiled fondly at both of them and Takemoto couldn't help but smile too. The ambience in the room had abruptly changed, Takemoto observed as he watched both Mayama and Nomiya with interest.

Despite the fact that they always argued whenever they were in each other's company – they were very good friends. Actually maybe it was because they argued a lot that they trusted each other like brothers. An image of Morita suddenly popped into his mind together with a question.

_Were he and Morita good friends like them too?_

Ah, but Mayama and Nomiya were never in love with the same girl, he remembered distinctly. Was that what made all the difference?

There was a sudden knock on the door just then.

"Come in." Ayumi said loud enough to be heard on the other side of the door. The door slowly opened and revealed a group two male nurses together with a female nurse holding a clipboard.

"Miss Nomiya Ayumi? We'll be accompanying you to the delivery room now." the nurse informed in a calm and business like tone.

"Oh my, it's already time?" Ayumi said aloud. "Okay, please come in." Maybe Takemoto had imagined it but he heard a hint of tension in her voice when she spoke. But he wouldn't be surprised if she was nervous – she was having her first child after all.

It was then that Nomiya stood up from his chair and went to stand beside her. He reached out and held her hand as the nurses surrounded her bed. Their gazes were locked onto each other completely.

"Will you be alright?" he asked.

"Of course. Don't worry, Takeshi. I'll come back to you, but it won't just be me. I'll come back together with our child." She replied with a smile.

"I'll be expecting two girls to come back." He said with a smile of his own in return. Ayumi laughed and reached out to softly touch his cheek.

"We'll just have to see." She said well naturedly. He leaned forward and kissed her forehead tenderly. He pulled back and gave a genuine smile. It was the sort of smile you gave to the person you loved the most in the world. Maybe he hadn't noticed before, but Takemoto couldn't help but think that the two of them suited each other extremely well. The air around them felt warm and fuzzy even to Takemoto. It was the same air Mayama and Rika had when he came to visit them every once in a while.

"I'll just be outside. I won't go anywhere." Nomiya said softly.

"Okay." Ayumi replied lovingly as she pulled his hand to her cheek. They stayed like that until the female nurse decided to speak.

"Sir, is it alright if we move her now?" she asked politely. She looked slightly regretful at having to break them apart.

"Yeah." He replied as he slowly let go of Ayumi's hand. Their gazes were still locked until the male nurses swiftly moved the bed out the door. Nomiya followed after them promptly. When he reached door he looked back at Mayama and Takemoto who had watched them in silence since the nurses arrived. "You coming?"

"Yeah." Mayama said as he nodded. He stood up and went to stand by Nomiya by the door. Both of them looked back at Takemoto who slowly stood up.

"I'll follow after I check up on Hagu." He said audibly. In truth, he was worried about Ayumi-san but what always worried him the most was Hagu. He had forgotten his anxiety while watching them but now that Ayumi-san was being brought to the delivery room, his apprehension had reappeared and was nagging at him repeatedly.

"Okay. We'll just be outside the delivery room. You do know where that is right?" Mayama asked deliberately. Takemoto scratched the back of his head and gave a loud sigh.

"Geez, Mayama-san. How old do you think I am?" he cocked a brow at him. He wanted to point out who was the kid who was arguing about petty things just a little while ago but he thought better of it – he might receive death glares from both of them if he did and he never liked to be on the receiving end of it.

"You're 30 years old but you're still such a kid." He said teasingly as he reached out and ruffled his hair.

"Hey!" he exclaimed with a pout. Mayama always treated him like a child, maybe he was older than him but that didn't make it okay to jab at him frequently whenever they were together.

"We'll be in the delivery room okay? You might forget." Mayama repeated well naturedly.

"Now you're treating me like an old man?" Takemoto shot back. Nomiya and Mayama laughed at his reply.

"Nope, it's our job to be the elderly ones." Mayama said, still chuckling. "Anyway, I was just kidding. Go check up on her. She might be wondering where you are." He said as he waved his hand in way that said _just go_ _already_. He nodded, getting the wordless message in his words.

"Really, Mayama-san. I'm going then."

He walked past them into the hallway and was about to make his way to the first floor when he suddenly turned back to ask them a question.

"There's a payphone on the first floor right?" He inquired sheepishly.

"Yeah. Why – oh yeah, I forgot Hagu doesn't use her phone anymore." Mayama said thoughtfully.

"Thanks. I'll see you in a bit then." He turned on his heel and made his way to the first floor.

As he made his way to the first floor he thought about the substance of their conversation just then. He was sure Mayama had said all of those things to encourage him. He was probably trying to say that he didn't have to worry so much all the time. Mayama was a good friend that way, he thought with a smile.

When he reached the pay phone he dropped in a coin and dialed Hagu's home number. For a while the only thing he could hear was the monotonous ringing then there was a click. The phone had changed to voicemail.

He didn't worry the first time he called since she could've just not heard it – but the next five times was what made him lose his composure. She wouldn't answer – it was either she was still asleep or she wasn't at home. After the sixth time the phone switched to voice mail, he fished out his phone from his pocket and scrolled down his phonebook for the number he needed.

The phone rang once and Mayama's voice filtered into the receiver.

"What are you doing calling me when we're in the same building?" his voice asked curiously.

"She's not picking up. I've called six times and she still didn't pick up." He gushed out suddenly, the worry marked in his voice. "I – I have to go back." He added decisively.

"Alright," He replied easily. "I'll inform Nomiya. When you reach her house call me again and tell me what you find." There was no hesitation whatsoever in his tone. Trust Mayama to be calm in any situation, any situation that didn't involve Rika-san, to be specific.

"Tell Nomiya-san I'm sorry." He said apologetically as he began to walk towards the entrance of the hospital hurriedly.

"I'm sure he'll understand." Mayama replied reassuringly.

"I'm going then."

"Wait, if by any chance she isn't there, don't hesitate to ask for my help." Mayama said before he could end the call.

"Alright." Takemoto answered and ended the call. He pocketed his phone as he rushed out the hospital doors and got into his car. He started the engine and drove as fast as Kaoru-san – that was already saying something.

When he reached Hagu's house he didn't bother to park the car in the driveway; he didn't even bother to turn off the engine. He hastily got out of the car and barged into the house. The door was unlocked – it was a bad sign but he resolved to look thoroughly before concluding anything.

So he searched every corner of the house – but she wasn't there. Her jacket, mittens and scarf was gone – Morita's scarf had strangely disappeared too. Her shoes weren't by the door and he could only conclude that she had left – left without leaving a note or anything that gave him a clue as to where she went.

He was breathing heavily by the time he got back out onto the road and jumped back into the car. He released the brakes and drove to god knows where. Ever since he left the hospital the only thing on his mind was Hagu. If anyone saw him at the moment they would think he was an obsessed stalker – and the worst thing was that maybe he was.

**-OoO-**

The sound of the automatic door signaled people to come forward. There were countless people boarding and getting off the train. Among the boarding lane was a tall stooping dark-haired man with a beautiful lady with him. Nobody around them spared them a second glance nor would they think that the dark-haired man was kidnapping someone – kidnapping with the victim's consent that is but it was close enough to a real kidnapping because nobody knew where they were going and nobody knew they were together.

From afar one would think they were lovers by the way their hands were intertwined – if anyone who knew them _did_ by chance see them, they would probably assume both of them were eloping but neither was the truth.

She watched as Morita dropped in some coins from his pocket into the machine and got out two tickets. Just as he took out the tickets from the machine, a female voice made an announcement in the speakers that rang out loud and clear throughout the train station.

_The train heading for Nagano will be leaving shortly. I repeat, the train heading for Nagano will be leaving shortly. All passengers going to Nagano please board the train now._

After the female voice finished the announcement Morita tugged at Hagu's hand and stirred her towards the train. Both of them hopped on the train and Morita eagerly looked for a place for both of them to sit. When they found an available spot, Morita quickly propped himself onto the seat; Hagu followed wordlessly and sat beside him.

Morita closed his eyes and leaned against the window. He let out a deep breath as Hagu sat down.

"Are you okay?" she asked cautiously. "You can use my shoulder if you want." She offered. Without a word he leaned his head against her warm shoulder. Even with a jacket on she felt the intense heat coming off him.

"You're burning up!" she exclaimed when she placed her cool hand on his blisteringly hot forehead. "We need to get you some medicine immediately." She began to stand up but something yanked at her jacket. She looked back at saw Morita's hand gripping her jacket tightly with his eyes still closed. It was the first time she noticed that he looked extremely tired. His face was red and he looked really sick.

"Don't…go. Just…stay here…for now. We can…get medicine…when we get there." He murmured hazily with labored breaths. Hagu sat back down reluctantly with her brows furrowed.

"Are you sure?" she asked carefully, placing her hand against his neck. It was really scorching hot.

"Yeah. Just lend me your shoulder for a bit Nezumi…" he replied in the same hazy tone as before. As she stared at him it was only then that she realized that he had never really said her name to her personally. It was always Nezumi – but it was never Hagu. Everybody else called her Hagu or Hanamoto, but he was the only one who never called her by her name. Was there a reason behind that? She couldn't help but wonder as she stared at him.

"Okay." She sat back down and pulled his head against her shoulder gently. Her hand stayed in his silky hair and it hair felt tickly against her neck. She could smell his hair – it had a mild smell of citrus. She discreetly leaned her head against his and she could feel him shivering. Having him this close to her, she could hear how labored his breathing was. She gently uncoiled her scarf from her neck and delicately placed it over his shoulders.

"Thanks…" he mumbled. She was surprised to find that he was still conscious. She felt slightly embarrassed at him knowing that she had touched him so freely but she didn't pull away from him – she didn't want to.

She cast her eyes down and stared at his empty hand that had held hers firmly just a little while ago. In truth, the moment he held out his hand to her – she knew she wouldn't be able to resist taking it. And when he said that they were going home she had the feeling that _he_ would be able to take her there, the one place she'd been searching for all this while.

She peeked at him and saw that his eyes were half open, staring as the scenery outside changed from grey tunnel wall to beautiful snowy scenery. The roof tops of the buildings were covered with snow and the city of Tokyo looked like it was covered by a layer of snow. You could only see a few grey spots here and there – the simplicity of the scene itself was breathtaking.

"Why Nagano?" she asked out of the blue without realizing she had spoken.

"I wanted apples." He replied unexpectedly, his voice a little indistinct.

"Apples?" she asked with confusion marked in her voice. She hadn't expected such an answer – but in a way, it was also a typical reply from him. He always had the strangest answers to all questions.

"That –" he started then after a short pause he continued. "And also since it was the place where both of you always went home to, right?" he asked knowingly. There it was… his second face – the side of him he rarely showed to anyone.

Most of the time, he would be an eccentric idiot, but there were occasional instances where he would give you a very serious reply. It was both sides of him that made most people think he was unreasonable and unpredictable – but she had always thought that it was his way being Morita.

She remained silent at his unexpected reply. She didn't need to ask who he was referring to. So he remembered her hometown, she had thought he would have forgotten such an insignificant detail. She didn't know why but suddenly a feeling of guilt settled over her then.

"Why? Why are you doing all this? Don't – don't you resent me?" she asked honestly. The question had burst out from her lips.

"Resent you? For what?" he drawled, his voice slightly muffled by the scarf she had lent him.

"For – for breaking my promise." She whispered uncertainly.

_Where have you been looking all this while?_ His question resounded in her head. She didn't have answer for him back then – she didn't have an answer even now.

"Oh. That. Were you worried about that?" he asked with a hint of interest. She stayed silent at his question. She knew he was going to say something more and she chose to listen – or rather it was more like she wanted to listen to what he was going to say. She felt tension seize her as she waited for him to speak.

"I don't resent you." He said unwaveringly, his voice much clearer than it had been before. Her heart skipped a beat at his answer. She felt relieved – but she felt troubled too? What was she feeling right now? Honestly, she didn't understand what was happening to her anymore.

"Why not?" she asked, question materialized in her head one by one. Maybe she simply wanted to hear his voice, the voice she hadn't heard in such a long time. It felt nostalgic listening to him talk, his deep voice filled that always held a hint of some hidden emotion – she never told anyone, but she always wanted to decipher his mood simply from his voice. To notice that he was sad, regretful, happy… she wanted to be able to do such a thing naturally.

"Do you want me to hate you?" he asked pointedly. She was glad he couldn't see her face at that moment, because she was sure he would be able to see the confusion in them. Why were all these emotions suddenly raging inside her? Was it all because of him that she felt more messed up than before?

"I…don't know." She replied honestly. She couldn't think of any other answer to the question.

"I don't hate you or resent you for anything," he said in the same resolute tone. "The one I hate is myself." He added quietly with a mild snort.

"Why?" she asked candidly. She looked at him through the corner of her eye and saw that he was smiling – smiling with a little bit of sorrow. He had another mixed expression, he always had. One time he would laugh with misery, the next he would smile with self-loathing – always expressions that were so contrasting.

"Can I tell you later? I'm feeling a little drowsy now." he drawled. She looked back at him finally and saw that his breathing had slowed into a steady rhythm. He was already asleep, he didn't even bother to wait for a reply. She gently patted his hair and gave a sigh.

Why did he always ask her questions that she couldn't answer?

_Do you want me to hate you?_

She honestly didn't know the answer to that question. She didn't know why but she felt like she wanted to push Morita away – she wanted to see him walk away like usual in his headstrong manner, but…but whenever he did – she always found herself running after him. Just like back then, he was walking in front of her and she was struggling to keep up with his pace but when she tripped… he was there to catch her – then he would walk ahead like usual, leaving her to stare at his back.

Over the past years she had always kept her eyes on him – not just because of her promise, but because she wanted to. She watched him on TV as he received countless awards and she read every article about him that was written in various magazines. He was always going higher and she always persevered to reach is level. She always wanted to have him in her peripheral vision; she wanted to see him be as stubborn and as unreasonable as ever. Over the years she had settled to simply watching him on TV and sending him letters – but she couldn't deny the fact that once or twice she wanted to see him in person.

She worked to reach where she was now – but recently none of it mattered anymore. When Shuu-chan had died everything that used to shine brightly had gone grey. But Morita – Morita was clear as ever. He didn't change, in her eyes he never changed. Even if his appearance changed you could still tell it was him. He was still unreadable, still stubborn, still complicated – he was still him. And she didn't want to lose that, she realized with start.

Back then at the cemetery, what she was actually afraid of… was losing Morita? Was that why she wanted to push him away?

And as the train moved forward to Nagano, Hagu was left brooding about the dark-haired man who was right beside her but felt an eternity away from her.

**-OoO-**

**Endnote:** OMG! I felt so happy writing about Hagu and Morita! I almost drowned myself in fluff for crying out loud – but still… I'm soooo happy. *grinning like an idiot* Oh yeah, I'm sorry if the scene in the hospital isn't so clear. I'm not really sure how someone is supposed to give birth so, um, if it lacks details forgive my ignorance! There's only so much a 15 year old would know about childbirth! 6.6 Oh yeah, I'm deciding to call 'Yamada', 'Ayumi' now so don't get confused. But anyway, I hope you liked the chapter. Putting that aside, I want you to review! Any comment whatsoever is welcome, if there are some flaws in my facts, like say in the hospital scene, please tell me about it so I can edit it. Oh yeah, if you want a faster update be sure to review so I can get some drive to type the next! ^.^ See yah!

_*_-That cooking scene was all my made up gibberish which includes the stuff I just hear from the lifestyle network on T.V. if the details are flawed please forgive me, I just thought the scene really needed a cooking description so I just typed in some stuff. Also I'm not sure there are cherry tomatoes in Japan but I like my salad with them and the diced apples – well I made that up. Whatever you read in the coking scene may be erroneous in a lot of areas so forgive me! I don't really cook that much. Now that _that's_ out of the way, don't forget to review or if you want you could correct my cooking scene. I'd appreciate either! *smiley smile*

**PS** these next few weeks I will be out of commission due to certain reasons I can't be bothered to explain anymore. I won't be able to update as quickly but when I do update I'll do my best to be able to provide you with at least two or three chapters. So please don't hate me or curse me in my sleep if the update is going to take a while (I prefer to have my sleep full of meaningless gibberish, thank you). Anyway, I just thought I needed to say it so later then!


End file.
